Friday, April 18, 2014
Juicy to me means a hot Summer Day and eating a ripe, super sweet Mango. Peeling the tender flesh with your teeth straight off the seed as the juices trickle down your chin and drip onto your (usually crisp white) t-shirt. Sticky fingers and that almost sickly sweet smell that lingers for the remainder of the day.
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The lovely Kat is once again hosting a reflective writing meme - I have participated in Reverb the past two years and have found it to be both uplifting and inspiring. It was a no-brainer when this landed in my inbox, Im just a few days late starting but hope to catch up on the first four days over the long weekend.
I am hopeful that I can find the courage to face the future and whatever it may have in store for me. Currently I am in the process of making a few major health decisions, ones I have not wanted to contemplate these past three years as I recovered and worked my way through previous battles and issues. The time has come to begin preparing my self for these decisions and I figure even if they are a year or two down the track, I need to face my fears starting now. I need courage to face my fears because my fears exacerbate my anxieties and then it becomes a vicious circle.
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Wednesday, April 16, 2014
The last couple of weeks I've had a few niggling thoughts of the future filter through my mind and last night it all came tumbling out. After I'd said my peace I felt a release of tension and an instant headache formed as melancholy settled around me. At this stage it is time to weight up my options, list the pros and cons of future treatment and look onward - toward a different but hopefully a more healthy future. At the moment its all a little raw within as I mull over my decision and consider my steps forward as well as starting to gather an arsenal of information so today I would like to hide from the world and not think about something I can't change "right now." I will share more when I can find the right words, but for now… how about I share what I do do when all I want to do is stick my head in the sand.
Since High School I have been fascinated with crystals and healing.
My husband actually groans whenever we go to Montville because most times I duck into the shops there & will come home with a small book and a new crystal. Little does he know that there is a store right next to our School that sells crystal jewellery. Meh - I usually only wear my wedding set, and NEVER request ANY type of real jewellery, so a small splurge on a bracelet here, a necklace there - he should be thanking me for saving him money!
Years and years ago I was going through a rough time (while we were trying to conceive Miss K) and I stumbled across a deck of Oracle cards. I've only ever dabbled with them but usually pull them out when I'm struggling to make sense of something. I pulled them down last week and the cards are so glorious and pretty - they inspired me to replicate one of them as a painting (ok so not a very GOOD painting!) As I stared at the cards, one thing led to another and next thing I know I had visited book depository and purchased a set of Tarot. I KNOW - how does that happen??? I've never owned a set of Tarot cards and I don't really know how to read the cards either - I just know they provide an outlet and make me feel better when I'm processing some heavy mind numbing stuffs.
Super speedy delivery from Book Depository meant they arrived today and I can't wait to get stuck in and read about them. Or at any rate - look at the pretty pictures on each card and incorporate some elements into my journals.
They even came with a book for beginners.
So now you know that I am somewhat crazy - reaching out for something out of the ordinary just to appease my muddled mind!
While I don't need to sit here and justify the reasons behind why I purchased this little set; there is one other VERY PERTINENT REASON!!! I stumbled across a pin here that suggested using a layout for writing characters and using Tarot cards - INGENIOUS! I don't think I will get this small purchase past the accountant as a Writing Expense (you know should I ever become a published writer) but its good to know I have a fallback option as to why I simply HAD to buy this pack of cards!
I'm wondering - do you ever turn to something left field when you can't balance your mindset?
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Small Footsteps. One small step at a time.
The family and I took a little mini break over the weekend - our first time "away" since 2008. True story. Life has a nasty habit of getting in the way of all your grand plans and getting away together wasn't made a priority. Sadly in recent times our priorities always seem to revolve around work and money. I guess that is natural in ANY bodies lives, but for us taking time out also means no income for that time. Being a one man band, we don't have anyone to rely to to take the phone calls, to put out fires while we kick back poolside sipping tequilas.
In the end I could give you a million excuses why we never escape - but I won't bore you with those - at the end of the day we finally did it. We booked a cabin along the Tallebudgera river and picked the WORST weekend ever to stay there! Localised flooding the previous day meant the river was covered in logs floating downstream; not to mention rain on Friday AND Sunday… and the small fact I was literally 30 seconds from bumping into one of my all time favourite bloggers… considering we live 6 hours from each other, I almost cried.
Saturday however was awesome. Brilliant blue sunny skies - it mattered NOT that we were awoken by a super excited and super charged little girl at 4:30AM! The same child who declared that night she couldn't fall asleep after spending ALL day being tired out by that waterside in the back ground! And who also proceeded to TALK in her SLEEP all night long.
I on the other hand, apart from being super tired, spent time relaxing on the couch poolside. Nose buried in my book at the cabin, eating far too much, drawing with limited art supplies and enjoying a simple weekend free from day to day life. And anxiety. Oh and enjoying time out with the family.
I must say I was super glad to be home to my own pillows on Sunday night! And a certain old dog was beyond excited to have us home again - first time he's curled up in my lap for awhile!